truth & love

in the light of the new year, this year's resolution is rather more achievable in some sense (as compared with the idea of loosing weight, hahah) and in some ways, more painful. pastor mentioned about how we should stop making excuses and shifting the blame. its funny how almost immediately after making a decision to stop shifting the blame on others, so many situations have cropped up as if to test this resolution. aiiih. sometimes its really hard to just admit "it was my fault."

recently, a few conversations with friends have popped up giving us a chance to be frank and honest with each other - about our weaknesses. something i really cringe thinking about. gah. its not easy hearing what others have to say about your weaknes. especially when you have been the one handing out the criticisms most of the time. something to be said about my need for humility.

nevertheless, i'm thankful for friends who care enough to be able to point out my faults, mistakes and weaknesses. you don't get many people like that in your life. :) Sue Ann posted this article on her facebook the other day, and it got me musing. You can't love with just encouragement and kind words. It requires truth, and the truth as much as we hate to admit it, hurts. The excerpt explains it really well, not just for marriage but any relationship in which we hope to love with God's love.

read more of the article here.

the reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is: we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.

into the early morning

"Search me O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there is any wicked way in me & lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalms 139:23-24

freshers week

autumn this year is literally the best one yet. well at least for now. its been a week of warm warm warm sun. how blessed we are. apparently it pretty abnormal to have such awesome weather here. but no complains there. i figured its kind of a good thing that we dont really get this weather all year round coz it would make studying so much harderrr. its the perfect holiday weather.

so many things have changed. situations, friendships, responsibilities, outlook, goals, convictions, choices.  i think in the first week, it felt really miserable realizing there was so many things that weren't going to be the same as they were last year. but throughout the last week, i find myself beginning to embrace this difference.

And yet, with two difference outlooks in just over a week time, i have come back to the same conclusion. one I have learnt to hold so dear to - the realization that He, Jesus is same. Yesterday, today and forever. { Hebrews 13:8 } Not just stopping at the realization, but even more than that - Jesus, be God in my life. Despite whatever situation I am in and will be in. Help me Lord, to submit all my feelings, emotions, desires, wants, loves, plans and will to You.

one the other side of Buda

Has it already been three months? three months since we traveled along the banks of the river in Budapest. three months since the last captain ball game at Roberts Way field. Three months since my 1st year of UK living. it feels pretty surreal since coming home to familiarity. halfway along summer with my regular routine of work, home and church, i found myself wondering whether or not i really did spend the last 9 months in Hatfield.funny.

and now I'm back here. you would think that coming back the second time would have been easier on the heart. having already known what i was coming back to. but rather, things seem foreign. strange. throughout the last 3 days of unpacking, I've come across bouts of homesickey-ness that you would never have expected to appear. and when these bouts come about, I crawl slowly into my bed, close my eyes and start singing. singing anything that will draw me close to Him. because in all the midst of strangeness, there is always one constant familiar. one constant friend. that will always be close no matter where I go.

TO RIVER ISLAND OR NOT

satchel handbags + cropped pants + hair bows. oh im looking forward to my spring. 
yessireee. on a side note, easter plans are finally falling into place. if all goes as planned, 
I will be hopping from Milan-Venice-Amsterdam-London and on to the much awaited 
Hope Fest. as im writing this, I can't possible relate to you this feeling I have of realizing 
how blessed I am in every way. can't stop thanking Him enough! Rachel Lampa's song is 
ringing in my head :

I may never climb a mountain so I can see the world from there
I may never ride the waves and taste the salty ocean air
Or build a bridge, that would last a hundred years
But no matter where the road leads
One thing is always clear

I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Til I lay my head to rest
I feel You near me
You sooth me when I'm weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

All along the road less traveled, I have crawled and I have run
I have wandered through the wind and rain until I found the sun
The watching eyes asked me why, I walked this narrow way
I will gladly give the reason
For the hope I have today

You've given me joy
You've given me love
You give me strength when I want to give up
You came from Heaven to rescue my soul
This is the reason I know