recently, there's been a restlessness within. Can't really seem to pinpoint the exact thing that's bothering me. perhaps im in dire need of some solace. away from the world, its demands, away from the constant need to fullfil self desires. And i can only think of one place, running back into His presence where rest is found. a follow up from the previous post: i find myself left dry and back at square one again, chasing after all the wrong things. dear God, i need you once again to breathe new life into me. Come and be my guiding light.
truth & love
in the light of the new year, this year's resolution is rather more achievable in some sense (as compared with the idea of loosing weight, hahah) and in some ways, more painful. pastor mentioned about how we should stop making excuses and shifting the blame. its funny how almost immediately after making a decision to stop shifting the blame on others, so many situations have cropped up as if to test this resolution. aiiih. sometimes its really hard to just admit "it was my fault."
recently, a few conversations with friends have popped up giving us a chance to be frank and honest with each other - about our weaknesses. something i really cringe thinking about. gah. its not easy hearing what others have to say about your weaknes. especially when you have been the one handing out the criticisms most of the time. something to be said about my need for humility.
nevertheless, i'm thankful for friends who care enough to be able to point out my faults, mistakes and weaknesses. you don't get many people like that in your life. :) Sue Ann posted this article on her facebook the other day, and it got me musing. You can't love with just encouragement and kind words. It requires truth, and the truth as much as we hate to admit it, hurts. The excerpt explains it really well, not just for marriage but any relationship in which we hope to love with God's love.
read more of the article here.
the reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is: we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.
quiet lights
After a flurry of social happenings these last two weeks, it seems only right to spend a night like this. huddle under the duvet, Olivia Ong playing in the background and soon to be engrossed in My Sister's Keeper. Not that I'm complaining about the activities, they have been one of the most enjoyable holidays I've had here.
Guessing that its actually the absence of having to travel somewhere. I'm beginning to see the appeal of ordinary simple things like cooking dinner together every night, birthday celebrations in the house, Christmas shopping and wrapping, late night poker games, grocery shopping with friends in the middle of the night, impromptu sleepovers, watching movies and not finishing them because we end up falling asleep. Just good time spent with people that matter to you.
then again, maybe I'm just getting older. hahah. its the new year after all. Merry 2012 all :D
When all the chatter & company fades
Listening to John Mayer's St Patrick's day under the covers sure makes ones homesick. And heartsick. :'(
lost
" I think the scariest thing about being (or trying to be) yourself (without the facades)is the risk. Supposing that facades act like a shield. Should you not be accepted as this
one personality, you simply swap it with another. The risk of being real. The risk of
not being accepted for the you you truly are. That state of vulnerability. "
stumbled upon from Esther Goh's blog some time ago.