just reading this passage i found on Lex's blog brings a small smile on my face. yes, i guess you can say it a tad over the top in its explanation and there are things i dont agree with - but there is something that caught my eye there. it probably is just me coz i wholeheartedly agree that most couples spend too much time together. Especially if you're relationship is long distance. Are daily checkups and skype calls really necessary? everyday? hmmm, maybe. maybe not. :) i guess my view on this whole LDR-spending-extra-time-with-each-other is pretty lopsided because we've somehow managed to work out our relationship without them. and if you think about it, its not gonna be the amount of time spent as a couple or feelings you feel for each other that is gonna keep you together once you get married. it will be your choice to stay with that other person despite these factors. I am grateful there is a trust between us. and also this space that allows each other to focus on our current separate lives over here and back home. he has his ministry and I have mine. by allowing these ministries (& God) to take priority over our relationship, it clearly allows God to work more effectively through us.

I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though,you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience? Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back it its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night. Henry Rollins