struggle

  its been a struggle recently. to suppress emotions that i know wont lead to anything good. why has jealousy so easily become part of me lately? Lord I need to keep close to You. else it will be too easy to fall away.

i edited this post with the intention to keep it private. but after writing it all down im beginning to realize why i would have liked this to be kept private. because there is this fear. a fear that after all that has happened, and all this while, i remain unchanged. God, I pray, please let this not be. If you have caused me to realized this, then please please i plead, not let me be the same person i was before.

urgh

sigh. i think i only write in here when my brain and heart has gone all wonky. reliving a little part of the day in reminiscence of the last two years has definitely gotten to me. Dear God. Its hard to let go. Help me to live a life that finds satisfaction and fulfillment in You. And only You alone. Its so hard, to submit all my feelings, emotions, desires, wants and will to You. but I need to. and I want to try. “Search me O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there is any wicked way in me & lead me in the way everlasting.“

Psalms 139:23-24

insta-greece

reminded in the morning

i will cast all my cares upon You, I'll lay all of my burdens, down at Your feet And anytime, I don't know, what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.

:(

  the games we play, the lies we say, the people we hurt. God, where have i gone wrong? come please come and deal with me. I need You.